January 2021

Things are somewhat back to normal civilization. My family got the vaccine and my grandparents bodies rejected it but we just had to let them rest and try with the medicines and herbs we had left to cure their bodies. Only my grandma made it through this. At this point I don’t even know how to express all the hurt and sadness I have. I’ve been shutting it all out for the sake of everyone for almost the past year but watching my family members die in front of me, I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

People are starting to go back to work though. Since the state of Maryland had gotten every household vaccinated the grocery stores were able to open up. Its taken them two weeks just to get all of the shelves up, fixes the broken windows and everything that was smashed, and rehire people, as many of their employees didn’t survive these last 6 months. My dad was able to return to work and so was my grandma. We have so many bills to catch up on and I’m looking for the best way to make money right now. Bills, funeral arrangements, food, fixing up the cars and the house after being broken into, all of my mom an grandpas arrangements that need to be made, this is just going to be a lot and I don’t know how long it’ll take for things to really be back to normal. I don’t think things will ever feel normal after this. I’ve finally been able to communicate with friends and family, my uncle didn’t make it and neither did my roommates parents. The real impact we are feeling right now is the millions of people not with us anymore. The empty desks at work, the thousand less cars on the road, no more of your regular customers or even doctors and dentists. Everything that this world is missing is going to be hard to start a normal life with again.

Looking back on this all, I can’t believe I survived, physically and mentally. This is something that goes down in history but that will change me forever. I think theres going to be years of working through this an every night I wake up with the worst night terrors. I am thankful for the family I still have and my own health but things will never be the same and that’s what I’m not ready to deal with. I don’t know how to continue life on from here or where to even start. The world is trying to build itself back up again but how can we.

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